Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Belts are for Punks

I thought before I went to bed tonight I might relate a couple of humorous stories from my first week at work. The first day we took several breaks and, not knowing anyone and not wanting to sit in my chair for 15 minutes, I would get up, leave the classroom and wander about aimlessly. Around lunch I found myself with nothing useful to do and thus decided to go to the bathroom without bothering to consult my bladder as to whether or not it actually needed emptying. I walked in and there was another trainee standing by a urinal. As I walked into the stall panic struck me and I found myself legitimately fretting, "What if I can't produce enough pee to convince this guy that I really have to go?" Immediately I caught myself and laughed out loud at both the absurdity of the thought and at how seriously I had thought it. Needless to say, I think he took more notice of my unprovoked laughter at a toilet than he ever would of my wiz duration.

The second story is really just an observation I've made - we never really grow up. We get more knowledge and take on more responsibility but some constants will always apply that maybe we didn't consider when we were kids. Nowhere is this truth more evident than while eating at the "lunch table" with your coworkers - something I learned in that first week. I watched as 5 grown men aged from 23 to 29 excitedly emptied their crayon colored lunch boxes onto the table and, after rubbing their hands together first for good measure, dug in. Our conversation rarely touches on the performance of the S&P or wives, bills, etc., but, in all honesty, is much more likely center around who's sandwich or Gladware encased entree looks the best.

"Hey Nelson, what are you having? You gonna eat all that?"

So far the only differences I can discern from this setting and my experience in a middle school lunchroom  comes down to us having legitimate facial hair, a wardrobe requirement which includes a tie, and there being a bubble gum deficiency under the tables. Pretty much everything else feels familiar, and I'm just fine with that.

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